Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Looking at the Bright Side

Friends, I’m going to be honest, this past month as been a real challenge. I’ve been trying to rediscover my confidence and keep the depression from debilitating me. I’ve sent out so many resumes, I feel like I’m holding my own ticker tape parade.

The job application process reminds me a lot of the publishing process. Three-fourths of the time, I don’t get any response from the places I email. If I’m lucky, I’ll get an automated message that says they’ve received my information, but that’s usually all.

One place I applied to sent me an incredibly passive-aggressive email. I had been on the fence about whether or not I was actually going to apply. I found the posting on a job board site, and it raised several questions in my mind. I went to the company website to find the answers, but they weren’t there. I decided that I would shoot an email to their address. All I wanted to know was if they had a minimum/maximum amount of work they expected to be done every week, how I would get paid, how I would choose my assignments, and a question about a stipulation they had in their contract (which was mentioned in the job posting).

What I got back was mind boggling.

The person basically commented that if I had sent in my resume, and if it had looked promising, they would have sent me a document that answered all my questions. They then said that they didn’t understand what I was asking with my minimum and maximum question, so they weren’t even going to bother trying to answer it.

The tone of the email irritated me, and if they were just going to say things like that, why would they waste time emailing me at all? I emailed back, apologized for forgetting to include my resume, and included it then. I’m fully aware it was a moot point, but still. As you can imagine, I’ve heard nothing back. But at this point, I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

For another company I applied to, I made it to the second round, and they sent me an email with information about the next steps I needed to take. In those steps, it mentioned that I had to pay $50 for a background check. Now, I knew a background check was involved, it said so in the job post, but I was confused as to why I had to pay for it. The company is reputable, I Googled them and did my due diligence, so I figured I would send an email and ask.

A week later, I received an email asking if I was still interested in the position because they had not received a response from me. This one came from a person (I assumed because it had a name in the Sent From line, as opposed to a generic HR email), so I responded and re-asked my question. A week later, I received a response that my account had been deactivated because of lack of activity.

This whole process has been so frustrating. I’m fully aware that we are in December and that Christmas is right around the corner, so I’m sure most companies don’t want to hire anyone right now. They want to be able to spend time with their families, but if they can get everything in place, they can start looking at new hires after the New Year.

I know I need to be patient, and I’m doing my best. One of the things that is helping me keep my head above water is thinking about all the good things that are happening right now.

One of those is being able to spend time with my boys. They have asked me several times to join them for lunch at school, and I’ve had the time to go. I know that won’t last for long, so I’m taking advantage of the opportunity while I can.

I get to be totally immersed and involved with their sports. My mind isn’t wandering to how much work I have to do when I get home. I just get to be with them. Which also means I have time to veg out and watch TV with them at night.

I’ve had time to write. This has been instrumental in helping me feel better. When I get super frustrated, I get to maim, kill, and devour people in my story. It really aids in reducing stress. I’m on Chapter 8 of the second book in my new young adult zombie novel, and I’m really enjoying where the story is going. It feels so good to be creative.

I’ve been in contact with the publisher about the cover for Humanity’s Hope. I’m not exactly sure what I want, but working together, I think we’re going to come up with something amazing. I can’t wait to see what it is.

I’m this close to having the biography done. After inputting a few more edits and getting another proof of the book, that baby will be done. It feels great to know that it will soon be out in the world.

Yes, times have been tough lately and I’m in a dark place, but there are shards of light trying to break in. I’m doing my best to let that light in and focus on the good things.